Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Just a little perspective

I don't sit still well.  In high school I used to be known as the energizer bunny who just never stops moving.  I love moving.  I love jumping from project to project.  I love staying focused on a goal.  I love achieving those goals.  I don't do well when I feel stationary in my life.  I don't like slowing down because there are so many beautiful things in this world I don't want to miss.

Training for my second half was drastically different.  I used different runs and increased my mileage over a longer period of time.  I ran more often than last time to ensure that I could just put one foot in front of the other.  Not every run was perfect and I was proud of getting the distance even if I walked more than I wanted to.  I had a balance of cross training and weights as well as running that I even balanced with my nutrition where I didn't feel limited at any time.

This past Sunday I finished my first 10 miler and then pain hit.  When I say pain I mean intense serious pain.  I like to think I have a high tolerance and I can handle anything.  The middle of my foot hurt more than I could have ever imagined every time I stepped on it.  It had a shooting pain even when I was sitting down with no weight pressed on it.

I immediately texted my super amazing runner friend Christine asking her what I did and what I should do.  It felt like my injury after the warrior dash last year and I immediately went into panic mode and worried that I broke it this time.  In my 24 (almost 25) years on this gorgeous planet I have never broken a bone and I'd like to keep it that way.  I immediately went straight to elevation and ice and remained stationary Sunday.  I had plans to hit golf balls and maybe get a hike in that turned into, "no just kidding you can't even walk because it hurts worse than getting punched in the gut five hundred times" (not that I've gotten punched there but I can imagine it really hurting).


Those long runs and months of training... gone.

I trained harder. I thought I trained smarter.

I had my goal and I was working for it.

I was appreciating what my body could do and yet my body is the very thing that failed me.

Panic set in for awhile.  I didn't want to accept it.  After a visit to my favorite sports medicine doctor I got a diagnosis of a repeat injury same as last October and a walking boot for 2 weeks.  Walking boots are absolutely incredible.  I am still beyond amazed that I was able to eliminate all pain (which was at a solid 8) from the second I put it on.  It took some getting used to.  The first few days were rough.  Now it's been over a week and I'm so thankful that I have the boot to help me.  Yes it's a pain to take it on and off but I know I've been resting my body and preparing it for everything else I have yet to do.  Some days I still feel lopsided if I wear flats or wedges that are too high.  Some days I still get incredibly sad that I'm not running the half.  Luckily I was able to transfer my registration to the next half marathon in April but, that doesn't mean I'm not incredibly sad that my focus had to change.

Shifting my focus has given me perspective.  Once I'm back to normal I know I'll never take for granted the things that I am able to do.  It's still things that Emily 2 years ago couldn't have ever dreamed of doing.  I'm thankful I'm able to heal and take a break before I hit the ground running and focus on different goals.  This injury has helped me slow down and be patient even though that was absolutely the last thing I wanted to do.  This injury has given me a strength I didn't even know needed to be strengthened.  

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